Freshly Buried: Paperless Billing
I was watching the TV a few days ago, something I rarely do, and I noticed something that pissed me off. It was a commercial, more specifically, an esurance commercial. It had something to do with a mechanical tree monster eating a forest, and a cartoon insurance saleswoman somehow thwarting this monster with the power of sex appeal, once again saving the world and her do-nothing love interest from danger.
This was a pretty stupid notion, but I wasn’t too bothered. It’s just a cartoon, afterall. But then, something happened. Something very, very stupid. These two cartoon characters had the balls to suggest paperless insurance sales were saving the environment. Disgusting. There are so many things wrong with such a claim, it borders insanity.
It was, very obviously, a shameless attempt to coerce environmentally conscious, but still dumb as shit consumers into buying their product. Seriously? I couldn’t believe it. Paperless billing saving the environment. Imagine that.
Buying insurance on your computer does NOT make you pro environment. Hell, even owning a computer makes you part of the filth you like to separate yourself from. Computers use a shit load of power, and what the hell do you think powers computers? All natural soy grass? No, wake up, stop living in the all-natural dream world. Your computer is powered mostly by fossil fuels, and nuclear energy. If you think Carbon Monoxide and Depleted Uranium are acceptable prices to pay for the convince of a computer, then a few dead trees from a tree farm (Not the fucking amazon, you idiot. Trees are farmed, not clear cut. If you want to blame someone for receding tree lines, blame poor Latino farmers who slash and burn forests for farmland to feed their families.) is a right decent price to pay for the convince of paper.
Esurance doesn’t give a shit about the environment and neither do you. Esurance is just looking to cash in on whatever idiots will buy their shit; and you’re just a self righteous moron. You buy food and products identical to non “eco-friendly” alternatives at insane prices because you think you’re saving the environment. You lobby foreign governments to require all natural food products, forcing millions of pariahs to starve. Your life is filled with bullshit and lies, and you try to hide your hypocrisies every chance you get, but you can never really escape the truth. The truth that you’re just a lying pig, and so are the people you buy your mud from.
/rant over.
